HAPPY BOLIDAYS! I MEAN HOLIDAYS (I keep hitting the B instead of the H - what's that telling me?)

Happy holidays!  and if you know me at all, I do my best to eat well and healthy.  But I always agree with letting loose a little now and then, and what better time then the holidays!  I got this in an email the other day and found it to be quite humorous.  Enjoy!

 FYI - very important!

 **********

 HOLIDAY EATING TIPS

    1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet
 table knows nothing of the Holiday spirit. In fact, if you see carrots,
 leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

    2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. It's rare... You
 cannot find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that
 it has 10,000 calories in every... sip? It's not as if you're going to turn
 into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for
 me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

    3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of
 gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your
 mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

    4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk
 or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car
 with an automatic transmission.

    5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to
 control your eating. The whole point of going to a Holiday party is to eat
 other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

    6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New
 Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is
 the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table
 while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

    7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like
 frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself
 near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the
 center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave
 them behind, you're never going to see them again.

    8. Same for pies. Apple, Pumpkin, Mincemeat. Have a slice of each.
 Or if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have
 three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

    9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the
 mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some
 standards.

   10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the
party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Re-read
tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner. Remember
this motto to live by:

And one of my favorite sayings :

    "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of
 arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid
 in sideways, chocolate in one hand and wine in the other, body thoroughly
 used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"

    Merry Christmas!!

I FEEL LIKE A FLEA BITTEN ENERGIZER BUNNY ON MESCALINE

When Katie Couric did her colonoscopy live on the air in 2000 (OMG!  that seems like yesterday!) it took the world by storm and thus the people listened and she helped increased public awareness of colon cancer screening, and the rate at which the country went for having their own colonoscopies.This has since been referred to as the Katie Couric Effect.

Now - I'm gonna share my story of the past few weeks and the results of my first mammogram.  I am a humble person and don't like to brag or toot my own horn, but if this leads to some "Dawn Sanborn Effect" of having people go and get their mammogram done, then I'm ok with that.

and I also will leave you with the full disclosure that, although I was there in person, I was not witness to most of the graphic nature of the procedures and cannot write the full details of such, but I would not share this post with anyone under the age of 13 or the queasy, just for safety's sake and the sake that you might have to clean up after they puke.

I also will refer to my right breast as my boob.  It sounds better. And less intimidating.

And a big thanks to two of my good friends Laura and Jody.  I really am grateful for these women in my life.  I had my friend Laura drive me to the biopsy and my friend Jody to the surgery. What should've been some scary days were really a great time!  Laura and I enjoyed the night off that night with wine and a good movie and Jody and I laughed the whole time, picking on the hospital personal.

My friend Laura D'Ambrosio agreed to take me to the biopsy, not because it was that challenging and I needed a driver but because it's always good to have someone that 's been through the same thing and can just be a good shoulder to lean on. 

My friend Jody Brown, author of the book, Upside Down Kingdom, agreed to be my driver for the day of the surgery.  Luckily she was available and was kind enough to take me.  Not something you can ask of most people.  She arrived on time and I was just about ready, I just had one final thing to do before all this went down, because when you know you will not be coherent for a day or two you have to take care of a few things before you leave.  So i just had to turn on the vacation reply for my business email, "Believe it or not - I'm taking a vacation!   So I'll be returning emails after Christmas.  Happy holidays! (small fibs are ok in this situation, better then 'I'm having boob surgery')."  Then I was ready to go.

So here we go -   let's go back and start out with day one, my first mammogram:

I made a statement on Facebook that it must've been a man that created the mammogram machine because if men were put through the vice grip they call a mammogram machine to check for testicular cancer, it would be changed immediately!  Just sayin'.  Imagine if you will… a large vice, that you insert your boob into, it closes tightly around your boob and then an x-ray is performed, then your boob is released.  Not too bad, but for testicles… I don't think any man would tolerate it for one second let alone the full 20-30 seconds us women have to, two to three times, each boob.

Although I do admit, the mammogram machines at Olmsted Medical Center are state of the art.  They play soft music while the machine displays pleasant lights changing from green to purple to blue to yellow to orange to red and then back to green again.  Kinda like a rainbow - but in the wrong order.  Obviously, the engineer didn't take art classes or understands the color wheel (red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple - should be the order), or has never really looked at a rainbow. Nonetheless, they tried really hard to make it comfortable, at least in your mind.

All went well and I waited for the results, with a fair warning: that because this was my first one, most likely I would be called in again for another mammogram because they had no 'reference' to refer back to from a previous exam.  So I waited.

Which led to the phone call for another mammogram:

I was asked to schedule another one because they might need an ultrasound to see something more definitive.  So I went back in and had my boobs squashed in the vice again.  This time followed by an ultrasound.

Which lead to the biopsy:

They found something they wanted to investigate further.  Two lumps that they said were most likely nothing to worry about, it's just that they used to play the 'wait and see' game and have you come back in 6 months but now they say they just go ahead and have a biopsy done to make sure. The biopsy consists of you laying on your side while a Dr. sends this drill into your boob that takes out a tissue sample.  Yes, a drill, at least that's what it sounded like. Followed by a hammer strike.  BZZZZZZZ, bang!  BZZZZZZZ bang!  16 times!  for each tumor.  Yeah, that was fun. But really painless, except for the local.  Did anyone ever tell you that the soft tissue on the side of your boob is really sensitive to needles?  Well, it is.  

Which lead to the conclusion, after days of testing that it was a benign tumor.  I had the choice to wait and see what happens or to have it removed.  I said, "Let's do it."  I don't mind having anything being taken out, but I do mind having something removed from my body.

Which lead to pre-surgery wire inserts:

So I was scheduled to have the out-patient surgery a week later.  I chose a few days before Christmas because I like doing things like this over the holidays.  Like the time I got a hysterectomy on New Year's eve.  What can I say?  I don't like going out on New Year's anyways, what better way to spend the evening then to be in a hospital bed with a morphine drip ready and waiting for you at the touch of a button? Much better then jello shots.

My time was scheduled and I was told to go to the clinic to have the wire inserts done and then after that, head on over to the hospital to have the two lumps removed. Seemed simple enough.

We arrived a few minutes early and checked in to Mammography. Jody and I shot the shit and talked about how i should've gotten pasties to put on my nipples and really surprise the doctor, but it was too late for that.  

I also should always remember that when they tell you to 'arrive' at a certain time that your actual appointment is 15 minutes later. And considering that most likely you will be waiting anyway… I usually don't arrive until right AT the appointment time or shortly there after.  But for some reason, I was extremely punctual this time - I'll blame Jody.  So after a half hour of waiting and the fact that I have not eaten anything for nearly 18 hours (which can cause moments of bitchiness and rants of rage from someone like me that normally eats something every couple of hours), I was getting a little anxious. I approached the counter and in my Susie homemaker voice I tried, "I've been waiting a half hour, what's goin' on?  Any news?"

"They are just running a tad late with the other appointments," the nurse said, "I'll go check in with them."

Within two minutes they were escorting me to the back changing rooms. (I was nice - I really was!)

I changed and went into the ultrasound room.

Wire inserts  are done to make sure that the actual tissue to be removed is marked clearly and is basically done by inserting a large needle into the area near the tumor and a wire is threaded through and around the tumor.  Now, I have been given a Novocain injection at the point of insertion but this only numbs the pain, I still can feel the wire, the pulling and pushing and insertion into my boob. After twenty or so minutes of pushing and pulling of wires, there was a pause and I asked, "Was that it or was that just the first one???"  I had two lumps to be wired up, they laughed and said they had just finished the first one.  "It's a very delicate procedure."  Yeah, tell that to my boob. And mind you of this:  my arm is above my head, burning from the pain of holding your arm over your head for twenty minutes and still not being able to move, because any movement when there is a large needle and wires being sent through your boob, is not a good idea, risky really. So let's just say, along with the fact that it's been nearly 19 hours since I have eaten or drank anything….I'm feeling, well, ready for this to be over.

While lying on the table, two things you really do NOT want to hear from the doctor are: "I'm sorry, I am close to your nipple,"  or "these wires are so small they keep bending."  Just sayin.

At the end of the procedure, they left a good 8 inches of wire, which when I looked at it was nothing more then something that resembled a 25 lb test fishing line.  The nurse explained that, although the ends were not sharp, she would be taping the ends and then taping them down against my body.  Now - imagine if you will - two 8" long pieces of wire jetting out of you boob and flapping back and forth with what literally looked like white flags at the end, a sign of surrender.  And then it made me think of Jody's comment about the pasties.  I had to share with my nurses.  I'm good at keeping myself laughing when there are two surrender flags waving from your boob.

The nurse informs me not to put my bra back on because of the bandage so I ask for a bag in which to carry it in.  I really didn't want to be walking around the clinic carrying it on me, some people may take offense to it or inquire about the large object I am holding in my hands and I didn't really want to answer that question. She hands me a rather large size brown paper bag and as I exit the changing room I shove my tank top and bra in it, fold over the top and head on out to the lobby where Jody is patiently waiting for me.

Next comes the surgery:

On the way over the hospital, Jody inquires about the paper bag.  I tell her that the nurse gave it to me to hold my bra in.  Jody says, "Wow, that's a big bag there, they could've given me a little sandwich bag to carry mine in."

Jody took the liberty of making an example out of my bra

As we pulled into the parking lot of the hospital, I was concerned about time because Jody had a meeting at 3 and had to go to work at 5 and it was getting later and later and taking longer then I thought it would. I told her to make sure she brought my bra into the hospital if she ended up having to leave me there (my daughter Sam was available to come and pick me up if needed).  Jody calmly stated, "Yes, I sure will because I'm positive my Jeep would get terrible gas milage with that thing hanging out in there."  Which could possibly be true.

We walked up to the admissions counter and I told them my name and birthdate. Which is hospital protocol, they ask you your name and date of birth 80 million times when you go there.  No kidding, 80 million. Then I introduced Jody to the clerk, "This here is Jody Brown, she's an author, you should buy her book!"  Jody told the gentleman I was on drugs and should be ignored.  However I pointed out that that was not true, all I had was Novocain and that would not impair my judgment. The desk clerk did ask for her card though.

Yep.

We went to the second floor and I got admitted for surgery. I was taken to my room and instructed on how to put on this real fancy purple gown that has a hose that runs to it that provides warm air so you don't get all cold waiting in those little flimsy gowns all naked and stuff.  

They are called BairPaws.  They have little bear paw prints on the front.

When I texted Laura this picture she asked if I was sure I was at the right hospital.

I talked with the nurses and they asked my name and date of birth again, for the 80,000,001 time, and they also asked which boob and what I was having done to it.  I felt that getting them all messed up and telling it was the left one not the right, but I don't think that would go over very well.  They also asked if I had someone here waiting with me when I was done.  I told them about Jody Brown, the author.  They got all excited because their was a celebrity in their mist and said they would be going out to the lobby and asking for Jody - the author, instead of Jody Brown.  Jody got to hand out a couple more business cards.  See?  I am such a good friend, bet I made her a couple more sales this week and all she had to do was spend her entire day hauling my old butt back and forth to the hospital.

After the IV was put in, it didn't seem to want to work real well.  So they kept slightly pulling it out and pulling it back in and flushing it with saline solution.  Yeah, that was fun.  Mind you it was now about 20 hours or so without food and water, and I kept trying to remind them that people will die after 48 hours without water.  When the anesthesiologist came in, I tried that line on him and he immediately said, "Oh I can help you with that and returned with a teeny tiny class of water and a sponge….on a stick.  Yes, a sponge…on a stick.  "You can get that wet and suck on it all you want."  I told him it reminded me of the vinegar in a sponge they gave Jesus while he was hanging on the cross.  That didn't work for him, it wasn't going to work for me. Period.

Then came the waiting game.  I was late getting to the hospital because they were late at the clinic with the wire tap to my boob, so I was put at the end of the line for surgery.  My gurney was in queue. So we waited.  Not very long and I had the great idea to check in on Facebook that I was at the hospital.  That should get some response, right?  Not really.  We just ended up saying Jody had a baby, that's all.

This older nurse finally came to get me and asked me my name and birthdate again, and I said, "Well, last I remember it was Dawn Sanborn."  This nurse obviously didn't appreciate my sense of humor and started questioning me.  'I'm just kidding!"  Gosh! Really people. 

Stylish hair accessories

away I go!

A couple hours later all was taken care of and I was getting dressed.  Easy smeezy.  I told them earlier that if all they had waiting for me at the end of the line was jello, I would be very disappointed, so they gave me pudding.  Jody gave me a cookie. Thank goodness for Jody.


Jody had to get going so my daughter Sam was called in to take me home.  I think I was a little dizzy but not much.  My body seems to tolerate anesthesia pretty well.

I got home and my wonderful hubby had taken care of all those chores and was waiting for me with a beautiful poinsettia!  What a guy! After a big kiss and the news that all was ok, I went and got into my comfy's and proclaimed, "I need a Newt's burger!"  Mind you it's been nearly 24 hours since I have eaten anything. Well anything that resembled real food.  Not good.  Bob asked Sam if she would go pick that up for me and get one for him too.  Which she did and surprise!, she also stopped and got me some hot wings!  Ok, fine, I know these are things one should never really eat and I normally don't, but please!  I have been through a lot!  I deserved it!  I did.

Newt's Marvins Burger - bacon, cheese and chipotle mayo - nummy!

B-dub's hot wings!

Well, over all it was not so bad.  I sit here a day later and I feel fine, Tylenol with codeine is a beautiful thing. It makes ya feel real good.  Except for the fact that I am one of those lucky ones that it causes itchiness.  It also causes the complete opposite effect then most people on me - I get energized!  So now I feel like the Energizer Bunny on mescaline, a flea bitten Energizer Bunny on mescaline!

Now after all this, can we honestly say - you really should go and get your mammogram done every other year.  It's not a bad experience, really, it's not.  Really. The Dawn Sanborn effect should happen now, I'm sure.

Well wishes from our friend Ellen

DEATH - AGAIN

We lost another family member this morning, Barry the Pekin duck.  He passed away after what seemed to be just growing old.  I  knew he was going but he wasn't suffering, just growing old and tired. We've had him for about 5 years which is a long life for a duck.

I remember for a couple years in a row, when we would open the pool in the spring and the water would be uninhabitable for people, but perfect for ducks, we would bring the ducks down to the pool and let them swim and swim!  It was fun to watch them disappear under the murky water, only to guess and wonder where they would appear when they resurfaced!  What joy they would express with their quaking and diving, all the time we would watch and be in awe of their revelry.

It was sad to see him out there, growing old, how his legs wouldn't work like they used to ( I can relate, Barry) and how his fellow duck friends would stand by his side every day for the last couple of days, seemingly anticipating the impending death and showing their support.

It was such a beautiful sight, watching his friends take care of him, showing him that he was well loved. Last week I had the pleasure of going to see a performance of Tuesday's with Morrie based on the popular book at the Rochester Civic Theatre. The way all these people came out to see Morrie, recognize his life and give him credit for the life he lived, that is beauty!  In the play, Morrie even mentions that he throws himself a funeral!  I wonder if Barry thought that?  I know I would.  Once I'm gone, I'm gone and that's no fun, I wouldn't be able to say goodbye to all the people I've loved in my life.  I wouldn't be able to see and hug them one last time if I were to wait and have a funeral after I die.  So be prepared people - if I know I'm goin' any time soon, there will be a party!

Barry lived a good life, he had many lovers, lots of good water to play in, great food, and some real good friends to be by his side through it all.

Isn't that all we really need?

Barry (right) with friend Uno

THE NEW CHICKS ON THE BLOCK ARE HOT!

Due to an overabundance of chickens at their farm, our friends, Jay and Renee Mallek, decided they didn't want to keep the new chicks that their hen hatched last week.  They gave them all away and we got two of them.  I'm always looking to increase the flock and since we lost 5 ducks and 5 chickens to some predator this summer, I am running low.

Hard part is - hens shouldn't be getting broody this late in the season because whose gonna keep them babies warm?

Well, I just so happen to have this wonderful little granary that we fixed up into a house for Bob's dad and thus - it's heated.  Lucky chicks get the whole basement.

the chicks in the plastic bin, they already miss their Moma

I put one of the 'walls' over the pen so they don't hop out

Right now I put them up into a plastic bin and will move them into the four-sided, portable enclosement I made several years ago as they get a little bigger.  Just the two of them in there and a heat lamp, they will be fine.

I told Renee that if they are roosters I will be returning them.  We'll find out in about 6 months if they start crowing!

But they are really cute anyway!

Speaking of broody, it made me think of how amazing animals are at being so adaptable to whatever comes their way.  They don't 'brood' over something that 'happens' to them, they seem to just think to themselves, "Well, what am I gonna do about it?"  And they move on.

It's this acceptance of change or "problems" that is so difficult for some people, and paying attention to what animals do makes it so much clearer to me.

But what is "acceptance?" It can be one of the hardest concepts to understand (think serenity prayer), but achieving it can be difficult. 

We are all creating our lives every second of time, and every thought we have or decision we make throughout our day affects the whole of whom we are.

If you can think of yourself as the driver of the car of life, the one you are now creating, the whole world opens up to you; the roads are endless! What's better than to create the best life you can for yourself? Time to get behind the wheel and drive, baby! Road trip!

Everybody has the same lessons to learn—they simply appear to us in different ways. If you are feeling sorry for yourself for something "bad" that has happened to you,  it's okay; there is nothing wrong with taking some time to feel sorry for yourself or your situation. (Lord knows - I have!) That tends to bring you back to clarity. But what does matter is how much time you spend in that energy and how long it takes for you to pick yourself up and take action toward acceptance and moving on. Being in acceptance does not mean that you settle for a situation. It means that you are at peace with it, and that is when you are fully in your power.


I've never met an animal that didn't understand this concept or that wallows in their misery.  They take what life hands them and move on.  Who couldn't learn from that?


~ When life hand you a pile, think "Woohoo! Fertilizer! ~


it's the only thing a farmer can do.

TOP FIVE REGRETS

 I don't believe in regrets: they are the past crippling the future, but sometimes I think that we all need to hear these things about ourselves. I know I'm not that old, yet, but I think constantly on how I can live a better life, be a better person and love more and all the time see with nothing but heart.  So this moved me and I thought I would share:

 

Top Five Regrets of The Dying

December 1, 2011 By T Kelly

For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives.
People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learnt never to underestimate someone’s capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.
When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:
1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.
It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.
2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.
This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.
By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.
3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.
We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.
It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.
When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.
Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.

Source:
http://www.activistpost.com/2011/11/top-5-regrets-of-dying.html